EATING AT SONIC
I was just telling Vickie about a recent trip to SONIC with Neil. It was kinda like a date, not having the kids along. I was surprised how much fun we had.
We had been talking about some not-fun stuff and I was prepared to be annoyed by the need to limit my food choices, when what I WANTED was to eat everything fried and greasy on the menu... I was truly surprised to see a couple of salad choices with grilled chicken. I guess all the fast-food joints have had to add them to stay competetive. Yeah, I get bored with it, too, but when the alternative is just ordering water & feeling sorry for myself while everyone else is eating... nuh-uh... I'm not going there anymore! Besides, it always tastes really yummy & afterward I'm glad I ate it.
Then I spotted the iced latte on the menu & got them to make me one without any sugar or sweetened syrups...(huh?) Just don't put in anything that has sugar in it, OK? (Oh, uh...ok...) After I scooped off & threw away the baseball-sized dollop of whipped cream -- The latte was SO GOOD! I had never enjoyed iced coffee before, so it was surprising how delicious this was to me, and really refreshing. Yes, it was probably made with whole milk, but I was feeling so virtuous I decided to risk it. Now I'm making them at home a couple of times a week with my extra-strength home-brewed espresso and non-fat soymilk. The soymilk has some cane juice, but at only 6g of carbs per 8oz. cup, I'm not in much danger, since I'm sure some of those carbs are from the soyflour.
Gwennaford's Journal
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Gwennaford
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Gwennaford
- Master Member
- Posts: 2776
- Joined: February 5th, 2008, 7:50 am
- Location: Oklahoma
Re: Gwennaford's Journal
WHAT GOD DID FOR ME
I haven't talked much about what I eat on a regular basis. I talk more about feelings and events.
Some of you will be offended by what I say about my behavior or my choices in this blog. Please understand when I say, "I" do this or that, it's frequently not a conscious decision on my part. I'm like an observer watching myself being transformed into a new creation. I believe this is because, when God gave me Let's Do Lunch, HE took away that ferociously strong urge to gorge myself on everything in sight as often as possible. Through no power of my own, but purely by HIS grace and mercy, I no longer suffer from the stigma, or shame of labeling myself as having "an eating disorder". I WOULD feel seriously ashamed of myself if I didn't recognize this as the gift that it is, and do my best to be obedient to HIS leading.
I have a good appetite, I enjoy tasty foods, and I don't starve myself. But if I don't feel like eating, I don't. I don't eat just because it's "mealtime". I don't panic if I miss a meal. I don't feel obligated to "make it up" at the next meal. I'm learning to recognize true hunger pangs as a sign that my body is requesting fuel, not as an excuse to drop everything & go flying off to stuff myself with the first thing I can lay my hands on. I realize that sometimes I confuse hunger with exhaustion, so when I've been really busy I try to ask myself what I want more, a meal or shower & bed. I've learned that if my body occasionally says, "bed", that it's OK to make some tea & go to bed a little hungry, but luxuriating in the feeling of relaxation without the "food coma". It's a freedom I have never experienced before. I can't say for sure, because I have no frame of reference, but I suppose this is what "normal", balanced people do.
Before LDL, I used to eat so much I would have to go lie down until the discomfort passed & I was able to get up & eat a little more. This was especially true at holidays, those times when I wasn't on some strict diet. I can only say in humble wonder and gratitude, that I no longer have the desire to eat until I hurt, until the refrigerator is empty, until I have to start cooking things from scratch because all the ready-to-eat goodies are gone. Wonder what this holiday season will be like?
OK, if I'm such a model of virtuousness, do I EVER eat non-LDL-allowable foods or snacks? Of course I do. But when I do, I try to always make sure it is because I CHOOSE to have a bite or two and then stop, and not because I'm eating something because I'm out of control. I actually think it's good for the family, and me, too, to see me take & enjoy a bite of something rich and gooey and then stop. I'm not going to give you a list of things I have sampled, because I don't want newbies to think, "Well, if SHE can cheat like that and still lose 73 pounds, then I can, too. EACH OF US IS A UNIQUE INDIVIDUAL and what works for one won't necessarily work 100% for someone else. PLEASE don't do what I do unless you feel with some degree of assurance that you can handle it, work it into your plan, and be successful. I cringe when I read where people write that they "cheated". It is NOT cheating to make a decision to CHOOSE to vary from the guidelines. You won't successfully lose weight and keep it off if you choose to vary the guidelines in the long term, but it's still not a LAW. It's a choice. I try never to say, "I can't have that." I always try to say, "I choose not to have that", or "It looks delicious, but I'm not eating ----- today."
Of course there have there been times when I found myself stress-eating non-LDL acceptable foods. I can think of one notable occurrence recently when I was sad, angry, exhausted, stressed, overwhelmed and under time pressure. I was stirring a pitcher of iced tea with one hand and with the other hand, robotically eating a dish of macaroni and cheese that I had reheated for Neil's dinner. Another time it was Rice Krispy treats. In both cases, I had allowed my "LDL pantry" to run out of the healthy prepared foods that I could grab when I was rushed trying to get dinner on the table. Did I feel horrible and guilty for these lapses? NAH... actually, it was kind of cool to realize that those things didn't really taste all that great and I actually prefer the good, wholesome, healthy foods. I just have to make sure I either stay stocked up on allowable foods and snacks, or be prepared to ask someone else to prepare the meals when I'm too tired to think straight. But then that brings up another difficulty..."someone else" is always all to eager to order takeout for dinner...LOL.
I'm all stocked up on beans, fruits & veg. now, so I can start writing what I eat in a typical day.
Good thing this is MY journal so I don't have to feel bad about writing too much.
I haven't talked much about what I eat on a regular basis. I talk more about feelings and events.
Some of you will be offended by what I say about my behavior or my choices in this blog. Please understand when I say, "I" do this or that, it's frequently not a conscious decision on my part. I'm like an observer watching myself being transformed into a new creation. I believe this is because, when God gave me Let's Do Lunch, HE took away that ferociously strong urge to gorge myself on everything in sight as often as possible. Through no power of my own, but purely by HIS grace and mercy, I no longer suffer from the stigma, or shame of labeling myself as having "an eating disorder". I WOULD feel seriously ashamed of myself if I didn't recognize this as the gift that it is, and do my best to be obedient to HIS leading.
I have a good appetite, I enjoy tasty foods, and I don't starve myself. But if I don't feel like eating, I don't. I don't eat just because it's "mealtime". I don't panic if I miss a meal. I don't feel obligated to "make it up" at the next meal. I'm learning to recognize true hunger pangs as a sign that my body is requesting fuel, not as an excuse to drop everything & go flying off to stuff myself with the first thing I can lay my hands on. I realize that sometimes I confuse hunger with exhaustion, so when I've been really busy I try to ask myself what I want more, a meal or shower & bed. I've learned that if my body occasionally says, "bed", that it's OK to make some tea & go to bed a little hungry, but luxuriating in the feeling of relaxation without the "food coma". It's a freedom I have never experienced before. I can't say for sure, because I have no frame of reference, but I suppose this is what "normal", balanced people do.
Before LDL, I used to eat so much I would have to go lie down until the discomfort passed & I was able to get up & eat a little more. This was especially true at holidays, those times when I wasn't on some strict diet. I can only say in humble wonder and gratitude, that I no longer have the desire to eat until I hurt, until the refrigerator is empty, until I have to start cooking things from scratch because all the ready-to-eat goodies are gone. Wonder what this holiday season will be like?
OK, if I'm such a model of virtuousness, do I EVER eat non-LDL-allowable foods or snacks? Of course I do. But when I do, I try to always make sure it is because I CHOOSE to have a bite or two and then stop, and not because I'm eating something because I'm out of control. I actually think it's good for the family, and me, too, to see me take & enjoy a bite of something rich and gooey and then stop. I'm not going to give you a list of things I have sampled, because I don't want newbies to think, "Well, if SHE can cheat like that and still lose 73 pounds, then I can, too. EACH OF US IS A UNIQUE INDIVIDUAL and what works for one won't necessarily work 100% for someone else. PLEASE don't do what I do unless you feel with some degree of assurance that you can handle it, work it into your plan, and be successful. I cringe when I read where people write that they "cheated". It is NOT cheating to make a decision to CHOOSE to vary from the guidelines. You won't successfully lose weight and keep it off if you choose to vary the guidelines in the long term, but it's still not a LAW. It's a choice. I try never to say, "I can't have that." I always try to say, "I choose not to have that", or "It looks delicious, but I'm not eating ----- today."
Of course there have there been times when I found myself stress-eating non-LDL acceptable foods. I can think of one notable occurrence recently when I was sad, angry, exhausted, stressed, overwhelmed and under time pressure. I was stirring a pitcher of iced tea with one hand and with the other hand, robotically eating a dish of macaroni and cheese that I had reheated for Neil's dinner. Another time it was Rice Krispy treats. In both cases, I had allowed my "LDL pantry" to run out of the healthy prepared foods that I could grab when I was rushed trying to get dinner on the table. Did I feel horrible and guilty for these lapses? NAH... actually, it was kind of cool to realize that those things didn't really taste all that great and I actually prefer the good, wholesome, healthy foods. I just have to make sure I either stay stocked up on allowable foods and snacks, or be prepared to ask someone else to prepare the meals when I'm too tired to think straight. But then that brings up another difficulty..."someone else" is always all to eager to order takeout for dinner...LOL.
I'm all stocked up on beans, fruits & veg. now, so I can start writing what I eat in a typical day.
Good thing this is MY journal so I don't have to feel bad about writing too much.
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Gwennaford
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Re: Gwennaford's Journal
Roger, I appreciate your cautions. I think it's great that you care enough about us to monitor how each person is doing and give us your input and helpful advice based on your 18 years of experience with Let's Do Lunch. I know better than to try to reinvent the wheel! I agree with you totally that it would be a mistake for me to try & throw my own spin onto it. I KNOW that if I could have lost the weight by my own efforts that I would have been in skinnytown long ago. I will definitely print out your comments & post them in my kitchen!
So, I while I understand that it would be a mistake to try reworking the program, I can't help but be concerned when I read of people that go on vacation or have family celebrations or holidays where they totally go off the program for a while. They gain weight and suffer and struggle to come back and get their motivation going again. THEN they beat themselves up, and feel like failures and cheaters. I don't want that to happen to me this holiday season. I don't want to go through it again. Remembering how hard it was for me to break a bad habit is the biggest deterrent to picking it up again. I know I made it sound like I make it a regular habit to tempt myself in order to try out my will power, but that's really not the case.
The absolute best thing about Let's Do Lunch is that sudden revelation that you really CAN enjoy, and even prefer healthy and wholesome foods more than the unhealthy counterparts. I think one of the points I was trying to make is that the Lord has changed me, and continues to do His good work in me. I have it found so exciting that when I have sampled something unacceptable, it hasn't had any special appeal for me. And you're right -- some of the things were downright disgusting. I wouldn't have known that if I hadn't tried them, but now that I KNOW it, I really don't feel compelled to try it out so much any more. I'm really really happy eating all the acceptable foods He has provided for our use.
The second point is that it's a GREAT feeling not to be in bondage to food anymore! We have you to thank for being obedient to the Lord's leading and sharing your wonderful program with all of us. THANK YOU, ROGER!
In His service,
Gwen
So, I while I understand that it would be a mistake to try reworking the program, I can't help but be concerned when I read of people that go on vacation or have family celebrations or holidays where they totally go off the program for a while. They gain weight and suffer and struggle to come back and get their motivation going again. THEN they beat themselves up, and feel like failures and cheaters. I don't want that to happen to me this holiday season. I don't want to go through it again. Remembering how hard it was for me to break a bad habit is the biggest deterrent to picking it up again. I know I made it sound like I make it a regular habit to tempt myself in order to try out my will power, but that's really not the case.
The absolute best thing about Let's Do Lunch is that sudden revelation that you really CAN enjoy, and even prefer healthy and wholesome foods more than the unhealthy counterparts. I think one of the points I was trying to make is that the Lord has changed me, and continues to do His good work in me. I have it found so exciting that when I have sampled something unacceptable, it hasn't had any special appeal for me. And you're right -- some of the things were downright disgusting. I wouldn't have known that if I hadn't tried them, but now that I KNOW it, I really don't feel compelled to try it out so much any more. I'm really really happy eating all the acceptable foods He has provided for our use.
The second point is that it's a GREAT feeling not to be in bondage to food anymore! We have you to thank for being obedient to the Lord's leading and sharing your wonderful program with all of us. THANK YOU, ROGER!
In His service,
Gwen
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Gwennaford
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Re: Gwennaford's Journal
Roger, your comments are ALWAYS welcome. I think we all know that they come from a place of love, caring and concern.
A word to the newbies who may be reading this -- DO WHAT THE BOOK SAYS AND YOU WILL BE SUCCESSFUL --
Love, Gwen
[glow=red,2,300]IN GOD WE TRUST[/glow]
A word to the newbies who may be reading this -- DO WHAT THE BOOK SAYS AND YOU WILL BE SUCCESSFUL --
Love, Gwen
[glow=red,2,300]IN GOD WE TRUST[/glow]
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Gwennaford
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Re: Gwennaford's Journal
Roasted Whole Chickens Inspired by Ina Garten, the Barefoot Contessa
Roast 2 large chickens, heavily seasoned inside & out with salt, pepper, rosemary & poultry seasoning (the old-fashioned kind, not the new seasoning blends that contain salt & MSG). Assemble quartered onions, celery tops, whatever veg trimmings you have handy, whole carrots, quartered lemons, whole garlic bulbs cut in half crossways, fresh or dried herb stems, peppercorns, bay leaves, Mrs. Dash, whatever you like. Don't peel & make a big production of prepping the veg, just scrub them, cut into chunks & place them in & around the birds on a rack in a large open roasting pan. Roast @ 425 F. for 60-75 min. Remove chickens from oven & let stand, tented w/foil, for at least 15 minutes.
Making the broth:
Remove and reserve meat, & throw EVERYTHING else including pan drippings into a very large stockpot. Cover all with a lot of water. You can cut bones apart with kitchen shears if needed to fit all into pot. Bring to a boil, reduce heat to med-low & let simmer slowly partially covered until you're satisfied all the goodness is extracted into the broth. If I need it sooner, I just boil it fast for at least an hour. This way you get all the FLAVOR, calcium & gelatin out of the bones without overcooking the meat. Cool broth, remove all traces of fat & freeze in quart containers.
Roast 2 large chickens, heavily seasoned inside & out with salt, pepper, rosemary & poultry seasoning (the old-fashioned kind, not the new seasoning blends that contain salt & MSG). Assemble quartered onions, celery tops, whatever veg trimmings you have handy, whole carrots, quartered lemons, whole garlic bulbs cut in half crossways, fresh or dried herb stems, peppercorns, bay leaves, Mrs. Dash, whatever you like. Don't peel & make a big production of prepping the veg, just scrub them, cut into chunks & place them in & around the birds on a rack in a large open roasting pan. Roast @ 425 F. for 60-75 min. Remove chickens from oven & let stand, tented w/foil, for at least 15 minutes.
Making the broth:
Remove and reserve meat, & throw EVERYTHING else including pan drippings into a very large stockpot. Cover all with a lot of water. You can cut bones apart with kitchen shears if needed to fit all into pot. Bring to a boil, reduce heat to med-low & let simmer slowly partially covered until you're satisfied all the goodness is extracted into the broth. If I need it sooner, I just boil it fast for at least an hour. This way you get all the FLAVOR, calcium & gelatin out of the bones without overcooking the meat. Cool broth, remove all traces of fat & freeze in quart containers.
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niki
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Re: Gwennaford's Journal
gwen...and all those vegetables cook in the broth, or do you take them out?......i don't usually use those spices..thanks for the ideas...........i always make soup out of the turkey when i make it....including the wings and legs that noone really eats............i try to never waste anything........niki
life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass...it's about learning to dance in the rain..
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Gwennaford
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Re: Gwennaford's Journal
HI Niki -- Everything goes into the stockpot with the skin & bones -- onion skins, lemon rinds, everything. That's why you scrub them first. Just use whatever you have, but I always try to include the rosemary (dried is ok), garlic & lemons. They get all nice & caramelized while roasting and it adds unbelievable flavor to the meat and the broth. Any meat left on the bones is no good after cooking that long, so you strain it all out and throw everything away. Remove the fat after it chills and it's easier to discard, too.
Dont you love the way the roasted turkey wings & legs make the broth all dark & rich-looking? I deglaze the roasting pan & put all the browned stuff off the bottom of the roaster in there, too. It's easier to remove the fat after the broth has chilled and cleanup is actually easier because you can just wipe out the pan with paper towels & put it directly into the dishwasher.
Hope you get a chance to try it this way. It's an extra step, but the taste of the roasted poultry is awesome -- worthy of company. But I do all that just to get the good broth for my soups!
Dont you love the way the roasted turkey wings & legs make the broth all dark & rich-looking? I deglaze the roasting pan & put all the browned stuff off the bottom of the roaster in there, too. It's easier to remove the fat after the broth has chilled and cleanup is actually easier because you can just wipe out the pan with paper towels & put it directly into the dishwasher.
Hope you get a chance to try it this way. It's an extra step, but the taste of the roasted poultry is awesome -- worthy of company. But I do all that just to get the good broth for my soups!
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patsyfay
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Re: Gwennaford's Journal
Oh, Gwen, what a beautiful culinary picture!! My mouth is watering. You could do this with practically any kind of meat, couldn't you? What a treat...to have pints of rich broth in the freezer all the time. Yum.
Pat
Pat
We are not human beings having a spiritual experience; we are spiritual beings having a human experience.
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Vernswifevickie
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Re: Gwennaford's Journal
Ok...if I keep reading about how you all make all this fresh broth I'm going to have to buy a freezer! I only have the one that's part of my refrigerator....I think I need a big chest freezer so I too can make all these wonderful things!
Vickie
Wife to Vern
Mom to Chris, Courtney & Colin
Grandma Honey to lil Miss Autumn
Daughter of the King!
Wife to Vern
Mom to Chris, Courtney & Colin
Grandma Honey to lil Miss Autumn
Daughter of the King!
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niki
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Re: Gwennaford's Journal
Gwennaford wrote:I deglaze the roasting pan & put all the browned stuff off the bottom of the roaster in there, too.
that's exactly what i do....but, not that much ends up in the freezer because i use it....i'll freeze a container or two of the soup itself that i make and after a point, i'll end up with so many containers in my freezer, i stop cooking and use up the containers in the freezer.............tomorrow, i'm going to make chili...that'll be another thing to add to my freezer...right now, all i have in there is some pot roast soup and some hummus......................niki
life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass...it's about learning to dance in the rain..
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iluvsoup
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Re: Gwennaford's Journal
Niki - You can freeze hummus?
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Vernswifevickie
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Re: Gwennaford's Journal
Hey Gwen..
I saw you were asking about how to go about getting home health care in another journal. I just wanted to say start with your doctor. When we needed some home health assistance for my dad it was arranged through our HMO. It's worth asking about. Good luck with it.
I saw you were asking about how to go about getting home health care in another journal. I just wanted to say start with your doctor. When we needed some home health assistance for my dad it was arranged through our HMO. It's worth asking about. Good luck with it.
Vickie
Wife to Vern
Mom to Chris, Courtney & Colin
Grandma Honey to lil Miss Autumn
Daughter of the King!
Wife to Vern
Mom to Chris, Courtney & Colin
Grandma Honey to lil Miss Autumn
Daughter of the King!
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Gwennaford
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Re: Gwennaford's Journal
Today my focus is to relearn how to dance in the rain ... 
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Forever Young
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Re: Gwennaford's Journal
Another source to ask is the medical equipment supply stores and the hospital if you have one locally. I am sure they can give you directions to the right place too.
Jeanne
Jeanne
Keep on...keeping on...on LDL..eating all the carbs and calories you want until full...and still lose weight. Stay on board the train headed for...SKINNYTOWN!!! Let's Do Lunch really works!!!
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niki
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Re: Gwennaford's Journal
Gwennaford wrote:Today my focus is to relearn how to dance in the rain ...
there you go, kiddo
..........i'll meet you outside............nikilife isn't about waiting for the storm to pass...it's about learning to dance in the rain..
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niki
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Re: Gwennaford's Journal
iluvsoup wrote:Niki - You can freeze hummus?
absolutely..........it's great to freeze.....if you think about it, it's like a thick pureed soup.............i could take it out and add some chicken broth and have soup...
life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass...it's about learning to dance in the rain..
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Gwennaford
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Re: Gwennaford's Journal
SEVEN ANGELS
I was so upset today. Actually it 2:30 am, so I guess this was yesterday, but you know what I mean. Too many people, places, events, obligations, concerns, chores, pains, emergencies, repairs, duties, cares & woes have piled up all at once. God has given me the grace to handle everything up 'til now, but today stuff started to catch up with me. I started to have a big old pity party. You know how it gets when you start to get overwhelmed...frustration, nerves, confusion, distraction creep in, followed by irritation, anger, shakiness, doubts, weakness, ... If I don't stop it & get a grip, it can accelerate to either a full-blown tantrum or a sob-fest. :bomb: It's been a long time since I've had either one....there's been no TIME
I couldn't formulate a decent prayer. I opened my mouth but nothing would come out. Inside my brain I was yelling and babbling incoherently to God (or AT Him, maybe) and I didn't want to start letting all THAT out aloud - my family is already traumatized without have to deal with me letting my cheese slide off my cracker! I didn't know whether I was being slammed around by a storm or if I WAS the storm...
Then, in His mercy, my sweet Father God sent seven angels to minister to me and give me comfort.
Speaking of riding out the storm, the First Angel was Niki with her beautiful quote about learning to dance in the rain. I used to know how to do that. I want to learn it again. Stopping to reflect on that gave me a minute to catch my breath and begin to calm down.
Second Angel was Pastor Ken. Imagine him choosing that exact time to call! When he asked me how we were doing, I asked him if he wanted the glossed-over version or the whiny version. So he enabled me to share some of my concerns, and left me with his cheerful slogan, "'You Be Encouraged', Gwen".
Third, Fourth and Fifth Angels were men whom Neil respects from church and work, each calling to ask what they could do to help us. I told each of them about Neil needing extra encouragement right now to do what he needs to do to recover, but it's so hard for him because he feels so incredibly ill. The one named Vern knows the other two, so he agreed they could get together and could come up with a morale-building plan. Then they DID. Vern called me back to check with me about a surprise they want to plan for Neil!
Sixth Angel was Mike Rufo, our therapist (I really like him AND he's a Christian). Neil wouldn't go, so it gave us a good opportunity to put together a treatment strategy for me to help Neil to help himself, help the doctors help BOTH of us, which, ultimately, will help ME by taking responsibility for his recovery off of ME and putting it on GOD and the professionals, where it belongs.
Finally, the Seventh Angel was my sweet little Michelle. She has moved out, but she showed up unexpectedly to stay for the week and has been incredibly sweet and cooperative. She went with me to the therapist's office and shared with him what it's like dealing with her parents from HER perspective. We’re not always the easiest people to understand. She was so articulate; I was bursting with ... gratitude, actually. She validated everything I had already told Mike, confirmed things he had already observed, AND she brought up some very good points that hadn’t been covered previously. Afterwards, she invited me to go shopping with her and we had a wonderful, relaxing evening.
Next time, I want to talk about my food choices and revelations during this strange, and ultimately, very wonderful day.
I was so upset today. Actually it 2:30 am, so I guess this was yesterday, but you know what I mean. Too many people, places, events, obligations, concerns, chores, pains, emergencies, repairs, duties, cares & woes have piled up all at once. God has given me the grace to handle everything up 'til now, but today stuff started to catch up with me. I started to have a big old pity party. You know how it gets when you start to get overwhelmed...frustration, nerves, confusion, distraction creep in, followed by irritation, anger, shakiness, doubts, weakness, ... If I don't stop it & get a grip, it can accelerate to either a full-blown tantrum or a sob-fest. :bomb: It's been a long time since I've had either one....there's been no TIME
I couldn't formulate a decent prayer. I opened my mouth but nothing would come out. Inside my brain I was yelling and babbling incoherently to God (or AT Him, maybe) and I didn't want to start letting all THAT out aloud - my family is already traumatized without have to deal with me letting my cheese slide off my cracker! I didn't know whether I was being slammed around by a storm or if I WAS the storm...
Then, in His mercy, my sweet Father God sent seven angels to minister to me and give me comfort.
Speaking of riding out the storm, the First Angel was Niki with her beautiful quote about learning to dance in the rain. I used to know how to do that. I want to learn it again. Stopping to reflect on that gave me a minute to catch my breath and begin to calm down.
Second Angel was Pastor Ken. Imagine him choosing that exact time to call! When he asked me how we were doing, I asked him if he wanted the glossed-over version or the whiny version. So he enabled me to share some of my concerns, and left me with his cheerful slogan, "'You Be Encouraged', Gwen".
Third, Fourth and Fifth Angels were men whom Neil respects from church and work, each calling to ask what they could do to help us. I told each of them about Neil needing extra encouragement right now to do what he needs to do to recover, but it's so hard for him because he feels so incredibly ill. The one named Vern knows the other two, so he agreed they could get together and could come up with a morale-building plan. Then they DID. Vern called me back to check with me about a surprise they want to plan for Neil!
Sixth Angel was Mike Rufo, our therapist (I really like him AND he's a Christian). Neil wouldn't go, so it gave us a good opportunity to put together a treatment strategy for me to help Neil to help himself, help the doctors help BOTH of us, which, ultimately, will help ME by taking responsibility for his recovery off of ME and putting it on GOD and the professionals, where it belongs.
Finally, the Seventh Angel was my sweet little Michelle. She has moved out, but she showed up unexpectedly to stay for the week and has been incredibly sweet and cooperative. She went with me to the therapist's office and shared with him what it's like dealing with her parents from HER perspective. We’re not always the easiest people to understand. She was so articulate; I was bursting with ... gratitude, actually. She validated everything I had already told Mike, confirmed things he had already observed, AND she brought up some very good points that hadn’t been covered previously. Afterwards, she invited me to go shopping with her and we had a wonderful, relaxing evening.
Next time, I want to talk about my food choices and revelations during this strange, and ultimately, very wonderful day.
Last edited by Gwennaford on September 17th, 2008, 9:17 am, edited 1 time in total.
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margo
- Master Member
- Posts: 976
- Joined: May 19th, 2007, 5:38 am
- Location: New York City
Re: Gwennaford's Journal
Okay Gwen...first of all...i can't stop laughing...even through your painful post you cracked me up when i read where you wrote: cheese sliding off the cracker....That just tickled me to no end. I'm sorry to admit it, but you made me laugh.... but also...and more importantly, your words really struck something in me where you wrote:
"I realize that sometimes I confuse hunger with exhaustion, so when I've been really busy I try to ask myself what I want more, a meal or shower & bed"
I just got finished posting to Mary's journal that i can't understand why she doesn't snack...and i feel the need to snack...then when i read your words and the part about how you recognize that your hunger is really your body asking for fuel, i think i might be eating too many times because i'm just really tired and over extended....for instance i'm up so early in the morning and get right to work...i go non stop until about 8pm when i simply collapse...i don't take naps and i think that maybe my body NEEDS more fuel to keep going...There is always some case that needs more attention, another telephone call to make or take, always some new case law to read and study and consider. Even if i'm just sitting at my desk my brain is chomping away at some problem or legal issue....As i deal primarily with "impossible" cases, people come to me when other lawyers have said their cases are absolutely impossible...Thank God, my clients have extraordinary faith and we're always praying about them and waiting for God's miracles. He has not disappointed since 1997!! (Thank You Lord, You are the BESTEST Lawyer, Prosecutor, Defender and Judge - All Praises go to You) And even though we acknowledge that God has done something spectacular (or even something that looks so small) to resolve the case, many times it means that i've read some innocuous legislative history, law or case that has one little sentence in there that i use to win the case...so there's alot of work and THINKING -- it's like i have to take the top off my head and open it up wide to be receptive to the idea i'm praying God will send me...(i don't know how to better explain it) ....i get so tired, especially in my mind...perhaps i'm taking a snack when i should go try and lay down for an hour....but i've tried doing that and i just am there in the bed ...if i turn on the television then i'm wasting time...if i don't turn on the television, then my mind drifts back to the cases and asking God how He will guide me to resolve it....
(i suppose this should have been on margo's journal, but it started as a response to what Gwen said)...
anyhow....i'm going to try to start to LISTEN to my body again when i stop fasting....gonna do like you, Gwen, and see whether i really need more fuel or whether i need to stop and sit down quietly for a few minutes....meditate, pray, just be quiet....peace...be still!
God bless..
margo
"I realize that sometimes I confuse hunger with exhaustion, so when I've been really busy I try to ask myself what I want more, a meal or shower & bed"
I just got finished posting to Mary's journal that i can't understand why she doesn't snack...and i feel the need to snack...then when i read your words and the part about how you recognize that your hunger is really your body asking for fuel, i think i might be eating too many times because i'm just really tired and over extended....for instance i'm up so early in the morning and get right to work...i go non stop until about 8pm when i simply collapse...i don't take naps and i think that maybe my body NEEDS more fuel to keep going...There is always some case that needs more attention, another telephone call to make or take, always some new case law to read and study and consider. Even if i'm just sitting at my desk my brain is chomping away at some problem or legal issue....As i deal primarily with "impossible" cases, people come to me when other lawyers have said their cases are absolutely impossible...Thank God, my clients have extraordinary faith and we're always praying about them and waiting for God's miracles. He has not disappointed since 1997!! (Thank You Lord, You are the BESTEST Lawyer, Prosecutor, Defender and Judge - All Praises go to You) And even though we acknowledge that God has done something spectacular (or even something that looks so small) to resolve the case, many times it means that i've read some innocuous legislative history, law or case that has one little sentence in there that i use to win the case...so there's alot of work and THINKING -- it's like i have to take the top off my head and open it up wide to be receptive to the idea i'm praying God will send me...(i don't know how to better explain it) ....i get so tired, especially in my mind...perhaps i'm taking a snack when i should go try and lay down for an hour....but i've tried doing that and i just am there in the bed ...if i turn on the television then i'm wasting time...if i don't turn on the television, then my mind drifts back to the cases and asking God how He will guide me to resolve it....
(i suppose this should have been on margo's journal, but it started as a response to what Gwen said)...
anyhow....i'm going to try to start to LISTEN to my body again when i stop fasting....gonna do like you, Gwen, and see whether i really need more fuel or whether i need to stop and sit down quietly for a few minutes....meditate, pray, just be quiet....peace...be still!
God bless..
margo