A very bad week
Posted: June 12th, 2008, 11:46 pm
Hi Everyone -
Until today, I didn't think my week could get much worse. My father (who has been enduring chemotherapy on an off for 10 months) had been feeling poorly since his last treatment, Wednesday past. He was feverish over the weekend, and decided that if he wasn't feeling better by Monday that he was going to go to the doctor...
At about noon on Monday, my mom calls me from the doctor's office. They called 911 and were taking him to the hospital. It was a very long day and by 8:00 pm, he was still in ER - hadn't been assigned a room... At about 10 pm, they told my mom to go home - that they were going to take him to a room. Apparently throughout this time, they were doing one test after another, trying to figure out why he was in such pain.... even with the morphine they were giving him. Anyway, they finally found the source - an absess... not really sure about the details - but he had surgery on Tuesday. Since he was pretty doped up, my mother said for us to wait until the next day to come visit...
Yesterday came and I went to the store to get a big bouquet of flowers - when I got there, the flowers hadn't been put out yet. So I figured that I'd stop after work, get some and go to the hospital to see my dad. Well, as it happens, my boss calls me at 1:00 and asked me if I could make a payment at a bank by 2:00... Sure, no problem... but as it turns out, I had three different banks to go to and then another place to drop a check off, too... I didn't get home till after 4:00 - and by then was so tired that there was no way I was going anywhere...
So today, there were going to be no obstacles... I went to the store, bought two plants, some cereal, & pretzels for my dad (apparently the food is really awful - I just wanted to get him a few snacks for him that wouldn't be full of fat....) Anyway, my daughter Amanda was going to meet me at the hospital...
Well, I was almost to the interstate and she calls me - hysterical - I could barely understand her.... she had wrecked her car - a car in front of her had slammed on his brakes, she swerved to the right, but overcompensated, and I guess swerved back to the left and slammed her car into the Jersey wall. I immediately got on the interstate, frantically trying to call her father to let him know... by the time I got to the scene of the accident, I had finally talked to him.... (very, very long story, but he doesn't ever answer his phone when I call...) but when I told him it was an emergency - then texted him the same, then called AGAIN - (losing my cool, that time) and he still hadn't called, my blood started to boil. When he did call back, - well, we had words -
So I finally pull up behind the cop - Amanda's car is facing almost totally backwards on the highway... she's in the cop car - sobbing, but giving him a report. He talked to me and then I started emptying her car - putting all of her stuff into mine... and then I did something that I shouldn’t have done. I took her phone, got "her boyfriend"'s number and called him. I really was only going to tell him about the accident, but I was so ticked at Amanda's dad (not answering my phone calls when I was trying to call him & tell him about the accident) that my anger REALLY got misdirected. After I told him about the accident, I told him that I thought what he was doing to my daughter was terrible. He tried to tell me that I didn’t really know what was going on, and I told him that I didn’t really care about anything except how he makes my daughter cry. He said, “well, I just won’t answer her calls anymore” – and I told him that he ought to act like an adult. I asked him if he didn’t think she had a right to an explanation… but then I told him – “I don’t really care what you do – I ONLY called to tell you how I feel…”
Anyway, Amanda gets done with the cop, gets in my car – is crying, sobbing – “I’m so embarrassed that I wrecked my car”…. “ohhhhhh……. Godddddddd………. My beautiful car…….” “what am I going to do? I don’t have a job, I don’t have a car……….” (her boss of 4 years fired her on the day before her birthday - 2 weeks ago) And doubling over, rocking, sobbing…. And then this guy calls – she tells him she’s been in an accident – is crying, crying…. And he TELLS HER HE DOESN’T WANT TO SEE HER ANYMORE… and then in a low voice she says, “ – what? What are you talking about? What do you mean? what? You’re just going to say this and not explain?”
By this time we've arrived at her apartment. I got out of the car to go up to get (her puppy) Zoey and when I get back to the car, she walks over, with the most hateful look on her face – “W-H-A-T did you do??” I told her – and I told her the truth – and I also told her several times that I told him that I just wanted him to know how I felt… I apologized and we had words on the short trip to my house. On top of this, her keys were still in her ignition at the tow place - the one place in her car that I'd neglected to look for anything. She practically ordered me to take her there. I told her that I wasn’t going anywhere with her when she was talking to me and looking at me with such hate… so she called her dad. He came and got her and off they went.
Her dog was still with us & finally about 9:30 or so, she sent me a text message asking if I would bring Zoey over to her (she lives less than 1/2 mile from us). I said that I would. So John and I took her over there - she came down to the car, took her from me, said thanks and went back to her apartment.
So, here I sit – not only is my little girl devastated about her car, but she’s not speaking to me. I didn’t even get a chance to sit and hold her… I’m sad – heartbroken - but also mad – mostly mad at this "boyfriend" for basically kicking her when she was down. I realize that I shouldn't have let my emotions get away from me like I did, but if I'm really honest with myself, I don't feel bad that I told this guy how I feel... and that's wrong, I know.
So, my friends - I'm asking for your prayers - for my dad, Ron... and for my baby girl, Amanda... They've both had a lot of emotional baggage lately - and I'm so sad....... I can't "fix" their problems... hard thing for the person that is always the "fixer"...
My heart hurts... my tears are finally falling.
Carolyn
Until today, I didn't think my week could get much worse. My father (who has been enduring chemotherapy on an off for 10 months) had been feeling poorly since his last treatment, Wednesday past. He was feverish over the weekend, and decided that if he wasn't feeling better by Monday that he was going to go to the doctor...
At about noon on Monday, my mom calls me from the doctor's office. They called 911 and were taking him to the hospital. It was a very long day and by 8:00 pm, he was still in ER - hadn't been assigned a room... At about 10 pm, they told my mom to go home - that they were going to take him to a room. Apparently throughout this time, they were doing one test after another, trying to figure out why he was in such pain.... even with the morphine they were giving him. Anyway, they finally found the source - an absess... not really sure about the details - but he had surgery on Tuesday. Since he was pretty doped up, my mother said for us to wait until the next day to come visit...
Yesterday came and I went to the store to get a big bouquet of flowers - when I got there, the flowers hadn't been put out yet. So I figured that I'd stop after work, get some and go to the hospital to see my dad. Well, as it happens, my boss calls me at 1:00 and asked me if I could make a payment at a bank by 2:00... Sure, no problem... but as it turns out, I had three different banks to go to and then another place to drop a check off, too... I didn't get home till after 4:00 - and by then was so tired that there was no way I was going anywhere...
So today, there were going to be no obstacles... I went to the store, bought two plants, some cereal, & pretzels for my dad (apparently the food is really awful - I just wanted to get him a few snacks for him that wouldn't be full of fat....) Anyway, my daughter Amanda was going to meet me at the hospital...
Well, I was almost to the interstate and she calls me - hysterical - I could barely understand her.... she had wrecked her car - a car in front of her had slammed on his brakes, she swerved to the right, but overcompensated, and I guess swerved back to the left and slammed her car into the Jersey wall. I immediately got on the interstate, frantically trying to call her father to let him know... by the time I got to the scene of the accident, I had finally talked to him.... (very, very long story, but he doesn't ever answer his phone when I call...) but when I told him it was an emergency - then texted him the same, then called AGAIN - (losing my cool, that time) and he still hadn't called, my blood started to boil. When he did call back, - well, we had words -
So I finally pull up behind the cop - Amanda's car is facing almost totally backwards on the highway... she's in the cop car - sobbing, but giving him a report. He talked to me and then I started emptying her car - putting all of her stuff into mine... and then I did something that I shouldn’t have done. I took her phone, got "her boyfriend"'s number and called him. I really was only going to tell him about the accident, but I was so ticked at Amanda's dad (not answering my phone calls when I was trying to call him & tell him about the accident) that my anger REALLY got misdirected. After I told him about the accident, I told him that I thought what he was doing to my daughter was terrible. He tried to tell me that I didn’t really know what was going on, and I told him that I didn’t really care about anything except how he makes my daughter cry. He said, “well, I just won’t answer her calls anymore” – and I told him that he ought to act like an adult. I asked him if he didn’t think she had a right to an explanation… but then I told him – “I don’t really care what you do – I ONLY called to tell you how I feel…”
Anyway, Amanda gets done with the cop, gets in my car – is crying, sobbing – “I’m so embarrassed that I wrecked my car”…. “ohhhhhh……. Godddddddd………. My beautiful car…….” “what am I going to do? I don’t have a job, I don’t have a car……….” (her boss of 4 years fired her on the day before her birthday - 2 weeks ago) And doubling over, rocking, sobbing…. And then this guy calls – she tells him she’s been in an accident – is crying, crying…. And he TELLS HER HE DOESN’T WANT TO SEE HER ANYMORE… and then in a low voice she says, “ – what? What are you talking about? What do you mean? what? You’re just going to say this and not explain?”
By this time we've arrived at her apartment. I got out of the car to go up to get (her puppy) Zoey and when I get back to the car, she walks over, with the most hateful look on her face – “W-H-A-T did you do??” I told her – and I told her the truth – and I also told her several times that I told him that I just wanted him to know how I felt… I apologized and we had words on the short trip to my house. On top of this, her keys were still in her ignition at the tow place - the one place in her car that I'd neglected to look for anything. She practically ordered me to take her there. I told her that I wasn’t going anywhere with her when she was talking to me and looking at me with such hate… so she called her dad. He came and got her and off they went.
Her dog was still with us & finally about 9:30 or so, she sent me a text message asking if I would bring Zoey over to her (she lives less than 1/2 mile from us). I said that I would. So John and I took her over there - she came down to the car, took her from me, said thanks and went back to her apartment.
So, here I sit – not only is my little girl devastated about her car, but she’s not speaking to me. I didn’t even get a chance to sit and hold her… I’m sad – heartbroken - but also mad – mostly mad at this "boyfriend" for basically kicking her when she was down. I realize that I shouldn't have let my emotions get away from me like I did, but if I'm really honest with myself, I don't feel bad that I told this guy how I feel... and that's wrong, I know.
So, my friends - I'm asking for your prayers - for my dad, Ron... and for my baby girl, Amanda... They've both had a lot of emotional baggage lately - and I'm so sad....... I can't "fix" their problems... hard thing for the person that is always the "fixer"...
My heart hurts... my tears are finally falling.
Carolyn
and this is what it looked like "after":
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