EnJae's Journal

[EnJae]

UGH! Rough week!  But the hardest of it is behind me. I work just 4 hours this morning and then I have a music class after lunch; can rest after that.
I got sick last weekend with fever and congestion. Got better just in time for my work week to start on Tuesday; barely made it through.
Weirdness: On Thursday it was in the 80's. Yesterday morning I got up at 5:30 and it was pleasant outside, maybe in the 60's. Near 9am the temperature dropped to 43 degrees F; got down to 33 degrees in the afternoon. Today will be another cold day. And tomorrow will be in the upper 70's.
Whew!

[Sweet_Pea]

Hope you are feeling better and not quite so busy.

Hugs, Carrole

[EnJae]

Thank you for stopping by and encouraging me.

1) Still working too hard, still congested and tired from allergies, hate dealing with temperatures in the 30's one day and the 80's the next; then there was the day we started off at work with temps in the lower 60's, two hours later it was 33 degrees!. Ugh! It's spring already where's our famous too-HOT weather!??
2) Am messing up a bit with food choices because I ate all the food I had prepared and I am still too over-booked with work and feeling rough to have the time to make more right now. 
3) Got chewed out about an incident which was out of my control yesterday. Felt so frustrated that I ate badly  on purpose. (Still apparently self-injuring when I get angry -- just not in the same ways I did it as a youngster.) ["I'll show them! I'll get FAT!!! That'll teach 'em!] Anyway; I know what I'm doing (self-awareness), I have confessed my sins to a close family member, I'm ready to move on.
I still have to get through a 10hr shift today, a 4hr shift tomorrow morning, then I'm through with work until Tuesday.
Saturday I'll sleep the afternoon away, then go to a friend's house for a cook out tomorrow night. My friends are going to help me cook up some lean meats this weekend so I'll be better prepared for next week.

[Saved4Life]

Thank you for stopping by and encouraging me.

Still working too hard, still congested and tired from allergies, hate dealing with temperatures in the 30's one day and the 80's the next; I still have to get through a 10hr shift today, a 4hr shift tomorrow morning, then I'm through with work until Tuesday.
Saturday I'll sleep the afternoon away, then go to a friend's house for a cook out tomorrow night. My friends are going to help me cook up some lean meats this weekend so I'll be better prepared for next week.

EnJae,

I know how you feel.  I have attacks of allergies, etc. and here in the Florida Panhandle, we've had so many storms come in, today is sunny and will be around 73, but Sunday more rain, and lows in the 30's..geesh!!

Sleeping on Saturday sounds like a plan.  I hope you get some rest and feel better!

Have a Blessed weekend,

Doreen

[EnJae]

HAHA
I got off early enough tonight to be able to attend a devotional at my preacher's house... first time I've been able to go due to job. The kicker is: I got there, sat on the couch before it started and promptly fell asleep! Woke up hours later after several folks had left. 

[Sweet_Pea]

You falling a sleep on the couch at your pastor's house made me smile. 

I hope this week will be better for you and not so stressful.  I hate getting chewed out for things I don't do or mean to do.  That really frustrates me and don't always handle it real good.

Hugs, Carrole

[EnJae]

06 April 2009

Before Breakfast:
coffee

Breakfast:
Fixin' to eat an apple, a banana; maybe an egg or two, some beans. ?

Lunch:
Plannin' on a Caesar-type salad

Supper:
Some kind of meat (I have both chicken breasts and lean beef in the fridge; canned tuna in the cabinet), vegetables

Work went well Saturday. Expected a nap after work but that didn't happen. But my foster-dad drove me around and kinda babied me all day so I felt a bit more rested. AND on my way to a friend's house I saw a cousin I had lost touch with sitting on his front porch. Stopped and visited with him for a bit. (His father and my maternal grandfather were brothers.) Very sweet visit.
Saturday night my friends barbecued hotdogs; I ate a can of tuna and drank water. We had a debate on a Bible principle. (Debate is not something I enjoy but I participated and held my own for a bit.) We watched "7 Pounds" together. I figured out pretty quickly what was going on and did not enjoy it. Felt the character could have left the decisions of life and death to God.

Sunday I awoke with an awful headache. It was neither a migraine nor sinus pressure; just a persistent pounding at the back of my head, down near my neck. I tried taking Extra Strength Excedrin, Advil, Tylenol, Sudafed, and Max-Alt at various times throughout the day. Nothing worked.
But it is gone this morning, Praise YHWH.

[patsyfay]

I smiled, too, Enjae.  I read a lovely article once that said God will minister to us in our sleep very often because our lives are so busy we may not stop and let Him minister to us while we're awake.  He is a faithful Father.  I'll bet you felt refreshed when you woke up! 

Pat

[EnJae]

Yep, lol. Woke up and asked when we were starting. Didn't even know I'd missed the devo.

[Saved4Life]

Enjae,

Bless your heart, you must have been completely exhausted!

I agree about the movie Seven Pounds.  I won't say much because others may want to see it, but at least he did some good...you know what I'm talking about!

I pray that you will get well deserved rest this week.

Blessings,

Doreen

[Gwennaford]

Since we believe that when we are gathered in His name, He is in the midst of us... I have to believe that He had you right where you belonged - safe in the palm of His hand.  I can just see you cuddled up there like a sweet baby getting peaceful rest. 

Loves, Gwennaford

[lifegoeson24n7]

EnJae,

You work too hard!  I still worry about you, cause you remind me of me.  

I feel asleep during a meeting at work, so I can also relate to sleeping on a comfy couch at the pastor's house.

Please try to take some time for yourself and get some good LDL foods prepared.  I too stray when I don't have acceptable options prepared.  Try to make the quick and easy dishes like easy mexican chicken (no mess, no fuss and 20 minutes cooked in foil so you have portions to just grab and go, it is one of my favs and helps with the sinuses)

Bless you,
Jill

[Sweet_Pea]

Just stopping by to say hi and wish you a great Wednesday.

Hugs, Carrole

[EnJae]

16 April 2009

Before Breakfast:
coffee

Breakfast:
orange, eggs, oats and skim lactose-free milk.

Lunch:
(planned) pinto beans, water
Nope. Did NOT eat as planned! I am caught in a cycle and can't break out.  My lunch was in no way LDL (except for drinking water)!

[Life4Now]

Just dropping in to say have a "Let's Do Lunch" kind of day and to be encouraged. Try to get as much water as you can. I know we say it a lot but it really is important. Sometimes that is why we get headaches ( I can relate, as I get them as well). You're a sweet person and a Blessing  .......Karllita from Missouri......*^_^*

[Gwennaford]

Hi Sis!

[EnJae]

Thank you, Karlita and Gwennie, for dropping by my journal. I have sorely neglected it lately. I have been binging on junk for 2 weeks.
I miss my mother dreadfully and can't seem to break out of a bad cycle of sugar. The weird thing is: all I have for breakfast is fruit and healthy food but by lunchtime I can't seem to MAKE myself eat right. Then it's downhill from there. I know better. I'm just lost right now.
NJ

[Gwennaford]

Poor girl.  I sincerely know what you mean with the eating.  It's hard to be strong when your every emotion is encouraging you to be "little bitty".  I promise I won't say anything to you that I don't and haven't frequently said to myself, so don't get mad at me for asking this, OK?

EnJae, does hurting and defeating yourself with food make the pain go away, or does it just make it worse? 

Why are you hurting yourself with food?

I want to encourage you to break down this stronghold that satan has established in your life.  Please use the tools that Roger has given us to make good substitutions for the bad stuff.  Please start binging on LDL foods.  Also please read Joyce Meyer's Battlefield of the Mind if you haven't aready.  If you have, please read it again.

What you describe is something that has been bothering me a lot since Neil was hospitalized again for the third time in a year.  I'm just so MAD    I lost my mom, I DON"T want to lose my husband.  Last night I was tempted by his thick & creamy mac & cheese.  I had nibbled several tastes through the course of the evening, every time I served some to him.  Finally I went to put it away.  I scraped it into a little fridge storage bowl, & licked the spatula.  Just before I clamped on the lid, I realized it was such a small amount, I decided I would just eat it.  I had a big forkful on the way to my mouth when I stopped and mentally started screaming NO NO NO at the devil in my mind.  I clamped on the lid & stuffed it in the fridge, where Neil found it this morning, reheated it & had it for breakfast.  He thanked me for saving it & said that little bit just hit the spot.  HA.  Validation from the Lord!  (Instead of eating the m & c, I ate four toasted corn thin & FF cheese sandwiches and was satisfied.)

I'm not going to pretend I'm this big tower of virtousness, 'cause I'm not.  I ate a little plastic eggfull of peanut M&M's the other day, out of exhaustion, stress and unhappiness.  The first two or three didn't taste that great, but by the tenth one, they were tasting pretty good.  The red ones still taste the best.  The rest of the bag is sitting out there calling me, but it's not calling my real name.  It's saying, "Hey, FATSO ... get your lard butt out here & EAT ME."  Some incentive, huh?

Call me if you want.  I just got the strong impression that two "little bitty" lost girls might have something valuable to offer each other.  You can get my number from Roger Troy.  He can read this if he needs permission to give it to you.

Loves, your sis,
Gwennaford

[niki]

The rest of the bag is sitting out there calling me, but it's not calling my real name.  It's saying, "Hey, FATSO ... get your lard butt out here & EAT ME."  Some incentive, huh?

  WHAT a good laugh........MAINLY because it's so true..i'll remember that the next time something calls to me......i was thin for my daughter's wedding and fit into the size 12 dress i bought(i have a large frame so a size 12 is thin for me....if i was a size 2, a size 12 WOULD be fat for me, but my body if it was all bones from an anorexic condition wouldn't fit into a size 2).....since then, i've pretty much been eating what i feel like eating.......i've been cleaning out my house since my daughter moved out and i'm not buying ANY junkfood....i'm just now trying to get back on track and back to powerwalking.................
  let me see.........reasons to eat...
                                    i'm happy
                                    i'm sad
                                    i'm depressed
                                    i'm tired
                                    i'm stressed
the list could be endless......i could go on and on.........oops.......did i FORGET to write the reason
                                    i'm hungry?