EnJae's Journal

[lifegoeson24n7]

EnJae,

You work too hard!  I still worry about you, cause you remind me of me.  

I feel asleep during a meeting at work, so I can also relate to sleeping on a comfy couch at the pastor's house.

Please try to take some time for yourself and get some good LDL foods prepared.  I too stray when I don't have acceptable options prepared.  Try to make the quick and easy dishes like easy mexican chicken (no mess, no fuss and 20 minutes cooked in foil so you have portions to just grab and go, it is one of my favs and helps with the sinuses)

Bless you,
Jill

[Sweet_Pea]

Just stopping by to say hi and wish you a great Wednesday.

Hugs, Carrole

[EnJae]

16 April 2009

Before Breakfast:
coffee

Breakfast:
orange, eggs, oats and skim lactose-free milk.

Lunch:
(planned) pinto beans, water
Nope. Did NOT eat as planned! I am caught in a cycle and can't break out.  My lunch was in no way LDL (except for drinking water)!

[Life4Now]

Just dropping in to say have a "Let's Do Lunch" kind of day and to be encouraged. Try to get as much water as you can. I know we say it a lot but it really is important. Sometimes that is why we get headaches ( I can relate, as I get them as well). You're a sweet person and a Blessing  .......Karllita from Missouri......*^_^*

[Gwennaford]

Hi Sis!

[EnJae]

Thank you, Karlita and Gwennie, for dropping by my journal. I have sorely neglected it lately. I have been binging on junk for 2 weeks.
I miss my mother dreadfully and can't seem to break out of a bad cycle of sugar. The weird thing is: all I have for breakfast is fruit and healthy food but by lunchtime I can't seem to MAKE myself eat right. Then it's downhill from there. I know better. I'm just lost right now.
NJ

[Gwennaford]

Poor girl.  I sincerely know what you mean with the eating.  It's hard to be strong when your every emotion is encouraging you to be "little bitty".  I promise I won't say anything to you that I don't and haven't frequently said to myself, so don't get mad at me for asking this, OK?

EnJae, does hurting and defeating yourself with food make the pain go away, or does it just make it worse? 

Why are you hurting yourself with food?

I want to encourage you to break down this stronghold that satan has established in your life.  Please use the tools that Roger has given us to make good substitutions for the bad stuff.  Please start binging on LDL foods.  Also please read Joyce Meyer's Battlefield of the Mind if you haven't aready.  If you have, please read it again.

What you describe is something that has been bothering me a lot since Neil was hospitalized again for the third time in a year.  I'm just so MAD    I lost my mom, I DON"T want to lose my husband.  Last night I was tempted by his thick & creamy mac & cheese.  I had nibbled several tastes through the course of the evening, every time I served some to him.  Finally I went to put it away.  I scraped it into a little fridge storage bowl, & licked the spatula.  Just before I clamped on the lid, I realized it was such a small amount, I decided I would just eat it.  I had a big forkful on the way to my mouth when I stopped and mentally started screaming NO NO NO at the devil in my mind.  I clamped on the lid & stuffed it in the fridge, where Neil found it this morning, reheated it & had it for breakfast.  He thanked me for saving it & said that little bit just hit the spot.  HA.  Validation from the Lord!  (Instead of eating the m & c, I ate four toasted corn thin & FF cheese sandwiches and was satisfied.)

I'm not going to pretend I'm this big tower of virtousness, 'cause I'm not.  I ate a little plastic eggfull of peanut M&M's the other day, out of exhaustion, stress and unhappiness.  The first two or three didn't taste that great, but by the tenth one, they were tasting pretty good.  The red ones still taste the best.  The rest of the bag is sitting out there calling me, but it's not calling my real name.  It's saying, "Hey, FATSO ... get your lard butt out here & EAT ME."  Some incentive, huh?

Call me if you want.  I just got the strong impression that two "little bitty" lost girls might have something valuable to offer each other.  You can get my number from Roger Troy.  He can read this if he needs permission to give it to you.

Loves, your sis,
Gwennaford

[niki]

The rest of the bag is sitting out there calling me, but it's not calling my real name.  It's saying, "Hey, FATSO ... get your lard butt out here & EAT ME."  Some incentive, huh?

  WHAT a good laugh........MAINLY because it's so true..i'll remember that the next time something calls to me......i was thin for my daughter's wedding and fit into the size 12 dress i bought(i have a large frame so a size 12 is thin for me....if i was a size 2, a size 12 WOULD be fat for me, but my body if it was all bones from an anorexic condition wouldn't fit into a size 2).....since then, i've pretty much been eating what i feel like eating.......i've been cleaning out my house since my daughter moved out and i'm not buying ANY junkfood....i'm just now trying to get back on track and back to powerwalking.................
  let me see.........reasons to eat...
                                    i'm happy
                                    i'm sad
                                    i'm depressed
                                    i'm tired
                                    i'm stressed
the list could be endless......i could go on and on.........oops.......did i FORGET to write the reason
                                    i'm hungry?

[EnJae]

Thanks Gwennie, et al.

I'm sort of in lurk mode because of my schedule. (Worked 8am-8pm with 2 one-hour meal breaks; then ran across town to my monthly Bunco game. Then rushed across town the other direction at 9:30pm to go to Wal-Mart to pick up some supplies I need for work tomorrow. Just now getting home at 11pm. AND I still have to lay things out for work tomorrow, get things ready for my brother to take 2 of the dogs to the groomer in the morning AND try to get a little sleep before reporting to work EARLY in the morning and working 9.5 hours as opposed to my usual 4 hrs. Tomorrow is a Special Olympics activity.)

Anyway, thanks for being a blessing, ya'll! Don't give up on me!

[Life4Now]

Wow, I love the insight I get from other people on these message boards when I take the time to reflect on the things I'm reading.  NJ, dear sister, may peace be with you, and may peace be with all of us.

My 2 cents worth.....You are fearful and wonderfully made....What Gwennaford said about "Battlefield of the Mind" by Joyce Meyers. This is a great book....we have to take those thoughts captive!! We know who the enemy is. Is it easier to pick up a apple or banana or a chocolate candy bar? If we're honest with ourselves...we know the answer to that. You are going thru a season....changes...and this to shall pass. Do what you can and leave the rest to the Lord. If you get honest with the Lord, he'll get honest with you. Ask him and he'll show you and most of all he will give you strength....but you already know this.....sometimes we need friends to remind us and help pick us up and encourage us. You've come to far....get mad at the enemy. The kids at church has this cute song called "I Went to the Enemies Camp....and I, took back what he Sold from Me" Thank you for being honest about the things going on...anything that lives in the dark....will have power over you...but bring it into the LIGHT......and that power (secret) no longer has that stronghold (lie).  YOU WILL SUCCESS Your a Blessing!!      Karllita *^_^*

[Gwennaford]

Enjae - I recently learned BUNCO is a favored Red Hat activity.  I saw a boxed set for sale on the Red Hat online store.  Do you play it while wearing your pink hat & lavendar dress?  I haven't learned to play yet, but want to look up the rules.  I had to pass on a recent BUNCO invite because they were having it in a RV rec. center that wasn't big enough for me to move from table to table in my big chair.  I'd be like a bull in a mobility aid shop.  HA

I don't like to think about being old enough to qualify for red hat status, so my hat is kinda ... light red.  LOL  -- too old & crippled for pink... to young & Jazzy for some of the chapters.  Meaning, my Jazzy can go 7 mph for 25 miles without a charge.

[patsyfay]

I remember when I was a little girl and our fraternal grandmother would babysit for me and my two sisters when my Mom and Dad had an occasional night out.  She always played bunco with us at 5 cents a game and made red candy apples for us. She had an outdoor "toity".  She played the piano and told silly stories.  I adored her!  She died when she was almost 95, living that long,I think in part because of her sense of humor and positive outlook. 

We had a guest pastor a few weeks ago and he gave two startling statistics. We can think 1200 words a minute and of those 1200, 1100 are negative.  Also, 90% of our normal communication with others is negative, as well. I think if I want to live to a good old age and not be a "crank", I'll have to stop before I think and before I talk!!  And try to maintain a good sense of humor, like my grandma.

Sorry, just reminiscing!

Pat

[Sweet_Pea]

How true Pat, loved hearing about your grandmother.  I was just talking about mine tonight and how much I miss her.  What an amazing statistic.  That is scary.  I don't want to be a crank either so I better start thinking more about what I say and how I say it.  Thanks for sharing  memories of your grandma.

Hugs, Carrole

[Gwennaford]

Pat's post meant a lot to me, too - as a cautionary tale for myself.  That's one of the reasons I enjoy the Red Hat Society so much.  It reminds us to lighten up, stop taking everything so seriously, and to have fun.

Counting the 'steps' & the 'greats' I knew, I had one of each kind of grandmother:  cranky & irascible; bawdy & mischeivous; sly & jealous; meek & gentle; adventurous and daring; wise & sophisticated; industrious and devoted.  Ironically, it's the cranky & irascible one that always pops into my mind first when the subject of grandmothers comes up.  My Reader's Digest Most Unforgettable Character.

Loves, Gwennaford

P.S.  Hi EnJae!

[EnJae]

Hi back, Gwennie.
NJ

[Gwennaford]

Enjae - I recently learned BUNCO is a favored Red Hat activity.  I saw a boxed set for sale on the Red Hat online store.  Do you play it while wearing your pink hat & lavendar dress?  I haven't learned to play yet, but want to look up the rules.  I had to pass on a recent BUNCO invite because they were having it in a RV rec. center that wasn't big enough for me to move from table to table in my big chair.  I'd be like a bull in a mobility aid shop.  HA

I don't like to think about being old enough to qualify for red hat status, so my hat is kinda ... light red.  LOL  -- too old & crippled for pink... to young & Jazzy for some of the chapters.  Meaning, my Jazzy can go 7 mph for 25 miles without a charge.

LOL - Here we went & posted all this stuff in your journal, hoping to draw you out & all we get is "Hi Back!" ? ? ?  HA HA

Loves, Gwennaford

[EnJae]

Gwennie wrote:
"LOL - Here we went & posted all this stuff in your journal, hoping to draw you out & all we get is "Hi Back!" ? ? ?  HA HA"


Sorry, I'm exhausted... guess I didn't realize you were trying to draw me out... I'm here, reading everyday.
I slept most of the day yesterday trying to knock a headache I got during work on Saturday.
Saturday was pretty cool. I went to my first Special Olympics Track and Field Meet. The only negative is that I have spent my life avoiding the sun and I was out in it from 7:30am-4:30pm. That's where my headache came from... I kept applying sunscreen both to myself and to the folks I was with... And I kept a hat and sunshades on the entire time. But I still got a headache. Oh and we drank water until we were nearly leaking... So it's not from dehydration.

Um, no I don't wear my RedHat gear to my Bunco games. They are two different groups; and I go to Bunco straight from work so I am in my work clothes....

[EnJae]

1 May 2009

Breakfast:
orange, apple, banana,

Later I'll wake up enough to make:
scrambled eggs, oats with lactose-free skim milk, coffee

Need to go to the store and get more fruit, water and other staples. I wonder what's for lunch?

[Later that day I ate a grilled chicken/romaine salad for lunch with tea, and grilled trout with greens and pinto beans and water for supper.}

[EnJae]

2 May 2009

Breakfast:
coffee, orange, apple, banana, water

Lunch:
'refried' beans with cornthins and water

Supper:
chicken breast, corn, water