I just got home & curled up with a nice comforting bowl of garlic butter beans, hot popcorn & green tea, and wanted to touch base with my dear friends. All of you are so caring and wonderful, after reading your posts I feel like I have been surrounded with warm, loving hugs from each of you. I only have one request --PLEASE, NO MORE BREAKING HEARTS ON OUR BEHALF! God's grace is all sufficient for our needs. All the same, I have printed out every one of your messages & will read them to Neil tomorrow. Veronica, the song is incredible, and very timely! How can I hear the melody? I try to read something inspirational or uplifting to him every day and all your words will certainly do the trick! How blessed are we -- to have all of you AND the Lord caring for us! I wish I could figure out how to make these words really giant like Jeanne does......
Neil's recovery is actually going very well. His kidneys still aren't working, so he started hemodialysis (sp?) yesterday. It made him feel so much better. He got up without assistance at FOUR A.M. today, started getting himself in & out of bed & to the bathroom without assistance, & walked the length of the unit with a walker. When I arrived at 7:30 this morning, he was sitting up in bed & scarfing up his breakfast like a starving man. This was the first time he has fed himself and the first time he has taken more than three tiny bites of his food. I was so thrilled I did a happy dance in his room! The doctors are considering discharging him to recover at home prior to starting chemotherapy.
It has been incredibly easy to stay on program at the hospital. The food is tasty and there are always loads of LDL acceptable choices -- when I can find time to eat. Nightime eating is no problem - I just fall face first into bed as soon as I get home. I am tired, but I feel really fulfilled being able to be there to care for him. We are learning together how to accomplish our mutual needs, under controlled hospital conditions, so we'll know what to expect when we get home.
I wanted to be at the hospital yesterday a.m. when they put the dialysis catheter into his neck (horrible, but necessary), so we had church in his room yesterday and it was pretty cool. I took in a hymnal and we sang uplifting songs (well, I sang & he listened, however he did mouth the words to Victory in Jesus
) we prayed, read devotionals & talked about how we are so incredibly blessed and all our needs are being met. I think people believe I am in denial, or crazy, or whatever, because I'm not torn up over Neil's illness. I have been feeling a little guilty or puzzled that I am not falling apart. But it suddenly came to me during the altar call at church last week what's been happening -- why I'm okay. The Lord has been preparing us for this trial for the past year by flooding our life with scores of praying, loving, caring, generous, Spirit-filled people who are taking care of us. Now my precious Lord has filled me with such joy and peace and trust, I don't have any room in my heart for fear or sorrow. I take absolutely NO credit for this -- it's all due to God's grace in action and His perfect timing. So the best way I can think of to thank everyone is to pray the same blessings for you at your point of greatest need.
Love to all & good night,
Gwen
My blood work is still showing signs of steady improvement in many areas due to Let's Do Lunch. Yeah! I'm having a little more trouble staying on program with all the goodies rolling in almost daily. Not necessarily with cravings, but with temptations. Many times when I've been overtired I have found myself eating a big spoonful of this or that while I'm dishing up or cleaning up afterward, without any real desire to eat whatever it is I'm poking into my mouth. It sounds weird, but a big strong mug of hot green tea calms my appetite, satisfies cravings & saves me every time. Then I eat some beans!
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